Shakin' Street — A Parkinson's Blog

A few years after my dad died, my mom started showing signs of memory loss. She was living in her own condo in St. Louis. None of her family members lived anywhere close – I am in Oregon, my sister is in North Carolina.

We started getting reports from her friends and her building manager of odd behavior, and in our phone conversations she would ask the same questions over and over again.

She insisted she was fine, and refused to move closer to one of us, or into a senior community near her where she could get more support.. My sister and I talked about her options, but couldn’t bring ourselves to take action.

One day she took a bad fall, suffered a concussion, and her doctor told us she could not live on her own anymore. We had to find an assisted living community within a matter of days.

We found a place, and she moved in. Short version: it wasn’t the right place for her, Covid hit, everything locked down, and we were stuck for more than a year.

Eventually, we were able to transfer her into a more suitable place, and she recently moved into memory care – a transition for which we were able to plan.

I learned a lesson – prepare to move before you have to move, if only to spare your kids the guilt and agony of making the decision for you.

Since my Parkinson’s diagnosis, we’ve been considering our options.

At the moment, my symptoms are mild, my balance is good, and the stairs in my house are not a problem. But we suspect that’s not going to last forever.

Our first thought was to move into a one-story condominium, but we want to stay in the same general geographic area we’re in now. There’s only one building with condos that fit our needs. Those apartments go for over a million bucks.

So that’s out.

There are very few one-story houses in our neighborhood. The ones that have gone on the market have hilly front yards, with steep stairs to the front door. Which defeats the purpose of a one-story house.

So that’s out.

My sister and her husband have put themselves on the waiting list for an Independent Living/Assisted Living/Memory Care community in their hometown. I’m open to doing that, but the closest suitable option we’ve seen is a 30-minute drive away. My spouse, who has 51% of the vote and real roots in our neighborhood, is not willing to move there.

So that ain’t happening.

Which leaves us with retrofitting the house we live in. It looks do-able. If we add a walk-in shower to the first floor bathroom, we could convert our den to a bedroom, and I could live on the ground floor.

At the moment, I’m feeling good. We have “a concept of a plan,” but have not done anything with it.

Neither did my mom, until she fell and hit her head. At that point, her children had to do something in a hurry, and it did not turn out well.

We don’t want to stick our kids with the same responsibility, and are painfully aware the need could arise faster than we expect.

Is that enough to get us to pick up the phone? Watch this space for updates.

Bonus for Those Who Read to the Bottom

Evidence that the original version of “Kung Fu Fighting” was written in 1680.

Taylor Swift sings a duet.

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“Dancing in the Dark” with a “King of the Road vibe.