Shakin' Street — A Parkinson's Blog

It’s Me Against Putin — Diary of a Stalemate

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It’s Me Against Putin — Diary of a Stalemate

I’m sometimes asked how my “battle” with Parkinson’s is going.

While I appreciate the support, I’m reluctant to use military terminology to describe the situation. Getting shot down over the Strait of Hormuz requires a level of bravery that I simply have not achieved in ping pong games or Tai Chi classes.

Having said that, a military metaphor can be useful to describe the situation some of us find ourselves in.

We may never display the world-changing heroism of those who stormed the beach at Normandy. Or even the doomed ferocity of Pickett’s Charge at Gettysburg.

In my case, it’s the grinding stalemate of Russia vs. Ukraine. My body is playing the role of Ukraine.

Stop rolling your eyes. This will all make sense by the time you get to the bottom. Pinky swear.

THE SITUATION

A couple of weeks ago, I realized that my mobility has deteriorated in the last six months. It happened gradually:

First my back started to hurt in the morning. Eventually I stationed a hiking pole next to the bed to help me stand up.

Feeding the cats in the morning became a negotiation. Can I bend down far enough to put Biscuit’s food bowl on the floor, stand back up to walk to the next room, and do it again for Calvin? Maybe.

Orange cat and calico cat beg for food in the kitchen.
“These bowls aren’t going to fill themselves.”

Emerging from the driver’s seat of my car, and getting up from the gym floor during a workout, now require some planning.

While there are situations in which a man in his sixties might appreciate a little extra rigidity and stiffness, these are not among those situations.

It took me awhile to notice the accumulation of issues.

HERE’S THE “MILITARY” PART

My body (Ukraine, remember?) has been invaded by a hostile foreign power. Initially I didn’t know who the invader was — like many Parkinson’s patients, I was misdiagnosed for years.

After a while I identified the marauder, formulated a plan, fought back, and regained some of the territory I’d lost.

Like Putin, Parkinson’s didn’t withdraw and apologize. It’s still there, figuring out where I’m vulnerable, and taking pieces when it sees an opportunity.

To fight back, I’ve decided I need some new weaponry, and am hoping that the right exercises can get the job done. I researched online mobility courses, read a ton of reviews, and bought Tom Morrison’s Simplistic Mobility Method last week.

Will it work? Beats me. My goal is to drive the Russkies back a few feet at a time, and get back to where I was within 90 days.

Meanwhile, Putin is undoubtedly looking for new ways to mess me up. For the moment, we’re at an impasse, but I’ll admit time is probably on his side.

My goal is to hold the invaders off indefinitely, until…

How can I work “someone comes up with a cure” into the metaphor?

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Northeast Portland Support Group Launches Next Week

Starting next Wednesday, June 17, I’ll be leading a General Interest Parkinson’s Support Group at Northeast Community Center (NECC). The group is sponsored by NECC and Parkinson’s Resources of Oregon.

People with Parkinson’s, their care partners, and family are welcome to attend.

There is no charge to participate, and you do not need to be a member of NECC to attend.

One note: at the moment the building is not fully accessible (we are working on that) — there’s a set of six stairs at the entrance, with a handrail on each side.

DETAILS

  • First Meeting Date: Wednesday, June 17, and then the third Wednesday of each month
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  • Time: 2:15pm
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  • Place: Northeast Community Center, 1630 NE Avenue in the Hollywood District of Portland
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  • Price: Free

For more information, email me at therealshakinstreet@gmail.com

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Bonus for Those Who Read to the Bottom

Want to support this blog?

Buy Me A Coffee

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“Billie Jean” as jazzy shuffle.

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The Killer with a magnificent cover of Ray Charles’ “What’d I Say.” He may not have been a very nice man, but Jerry Lee Lewis knew his way around a piano.

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For all who keep asking why nobody ever re-writes classic rock songs in Middle English, “Freebird” is for you.

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Speaking of “Freebird:” There’ve been some studies recently exploring the potential benefits of harmonica playing on Parkinson’s symptoms. If you’ve taken up the instrument, here’s something to aim for.

5 responses to “It’s Me Against Putin — Diary of a Stalemate”

  1. jchrisanthony Avatar
    jchrisanthony

    Great post. I like the military analogy, and the paddle-armed infantry. Maybe you can do a post on the exercise program you are trying. I want something to supplement Rock Steady Boxing.

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    Reply
    1. shakinstreet.com Avatar
      shakinstreet.com

      Thanks, Chris. I like Rock Steady Boxing a lot, but I supplement it with some other things — Tai Chi for balance, indoor cycling for cardio, and ping pong for eye-hand coordination. I’ve been doing that combination for about a year and a half, and until recently felt it was getting the job done. This mobility exercise thing is the first change I’ve made in a while, and the jury’s still out on whether it’ll work.

      My intent is to do this program three days a week and write about it again after a month. It’s not an endorsement or affiliate marketing thing — I paid full price for the program and have no relationship with the company, so I’ve got the freedom to be completely candid about it.

      Like

      Reply
  2. JB358PWP Avatar
    JB358PWP

    That ‘gradual’ thing. Yeah it does sneak up on you. 🙄 As for exercise, I’ve found stretching is number one, even if I get nothing else in that day. I think at our age that is vital. After that, isometrics, and light strength training. I do some simple basic aerobic moves, but not this high intensity stuff that some are pushing. At my age, it takes longer to recover and I don’t have that luxury. I’ve been sick for the last week, and lost everything I had developed, but I’ll start with that stretching and isometrics.

    Good article, as usual! 😊

    Like

    Reply
    1. shakinstreet.com Avatar
      shakinstreet.com

      I suspect we all make compromises between what the experts say we need to do and our own real-life abilities. I’m pretty thorough on the exercise front, but I’m shaky on what I eat — I try to approximate the Mediterranean diet, but am unwilling to give up pizza or dessert. If that means Parkinson’s comes for me a little bit sooner, so be it.

      Thanks for the insightful comment, and keep reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
  3. JB358PWP Avatar
    JB358PWP

    I have junk food in my home. I eat a nearly vegetarian diet, but when I want a treat, it’s there. I listened to a dietitian practically scream at PWP to eat this, don’t eat that. I wanted to scream back at her. Experts are knowledgeable and we should be researching, but lived experience – us w PD – are the best experts when it comes to OUR unique body.

    Liked by 1 person

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Hello,

I’m Phil Bernstein

I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease on May 25, 2023. At the time, I was only vaguely aware of Parkinson’s — primarily from articles in People about Michael J. Fox. And I didn’t know anyone with the disease.

Now, I know a lot more about the illness, and I’ve joined the Parkinson’s community in my hometown of Portland, Oregon.

I’ve found that writing helps me think through challenges, and this illness definitely qualifies as a challenge. I’ve started Shakin’ Street to help me think through the various obstacles, tools, and resources that a newly-diagnosed Parkinson’s patient encounters along the way.

I hope some of these posts help you address and tackle your own challenges.

Let’s connect

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